The Patients Are In The House!!!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sungalsses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom and don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every tiem someone asks you to do something, ask “Do you want fries with that?”

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has ogtten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the “memo” field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”

7. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

8 don’t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I’ve won! I’ve won!”

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy we are going to have let one of you go.”


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