Musings

It has been hot and humid the last few days. Each afternoon and evening has had rumbles of thunder and lightening and more than a few downpours. We need the rain. The grass is brown and the flowers are drooping. I should have left my car out in the rain to get clean! It has bug guts all over it from the long drive! Yuck. I really should wash it.

I am enjoying the afterglow of the family reunion. There have been quite a few emails swirling through cyberspace between various family members, as we all figure out how to share our collective pictures with one another so we get a complete set of shots from the week of fun. Once that is done, I shall be getting copies of some of the highlights and favorites to put in my scrapbook. I must remember to bring the book with me to the next reunion as a conversation piece.

It has been nice to come home though. I enjoy going on trips, except for the required packing. But I think I enjoy coming home more. I’m one to unpack right away and start to do wash, sweep floors, put away clean clothes and toiletries and just settle back in. I guess it is like a bird building its nest. I come home and shuffle around, tucking the proverbial twigs and feathers and down into places, pulling out what shouldn’t be there, and nestling back into home.

I’ve been feeling much better lately. Thank you to those of you who pray for me. The anti-depressant is at a good maintenance level, except for a little hiccup with the drug interaction with my thyroid meds. I had blood work done yesterday to test the thyroid function and hope to get the results tomorrow, which will indicate if I need more Synthroid. Counseling sessions are hard. I told the counselor Monday evening that I really hate going and get a stomach ache on the drive over, but I know it is for the good, so I go. It is hard to peel the layers of yourself and behaviors back to get to the core of things and then figure out how to change for the positive. Changing life long habits and styles of living and communicating is really hard! Sometimes I don’t know how to react to things. It is awkward. I feel like a child sometimes, standing there thinking to myself “Okay, what’s a better way to react than what I used to do?” I still feel some level of anxiety when getting the mail and answering the phone but I can do them. I have bouts of sadness, like Monday night when I came home from counseling. I don’t know what to do with them.

In all, glory to God for all things!

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3 thoughts on “Musings

  1. well…I am the “flurry of excitement” and “packing lists” kind of girl. I clean the house before I leave because I don’t want to come home to a messy one. LOL…although that’s much easier said than done.

    I’m sure I missed some entries which led up to the need for counseling…but I do hope and pray that it is fruitful for you. I went through three years of counseling in my early 20’s and feel it did me much good…despite the fact that it was often quite hard!

  2. WOW! Meg nailed it, I have nothing to say other than I’m glad you are keeping in contact with the family and you are always in my prayers!

  3. Had to smile at your description of coming home from a trip. I hate travel, at least road trips, and when I get home my nerves are so jangled that I have to let them settle in place for a day or two before tackling the unpacking and putting away.

    I’m not surprised counselling leaves you sad. You are basically saying goodbye to someone you knew and were comfortable with, and when it’s all over, you will never see that person again. The fact that the new person will be so much more able to cope with life, doesn’t make the leave-taking any happier. It’s sort of like kitchen renovation: You have to keep reminding yourself how much easier it will be to work with the new kitchen, while living with the mess of the renovation.

    Do you know where “Glory to God for all things” comes from? It’s what St. John Chrysostom said as he was being dragged off into exile for the second time, to his death. That’s why I use it so much — it reminds me to give glory to God even in the depths.

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