…and too funny not to share!
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn’t finished; and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel!
(*Disclaimer: This is a JOKE! I am not supporting abuse of drugs or alcohol by ingesting large quantities of them. Chocolate, cheesecake and Oreos are another story however.)