We are three days into the Sts. Peter & Paul Fast. Father T told me to do as I am able. What am I able to do? Not much since most of the food aisles at the store contian not-okay foods.
The frustration is still there. I guess that is normal since it has been just a little over two months since the diagnosis. On a certain level it is like grieving, which is a pretty sad commentary on what is important to me.
When I couldn’t eat ice cream and dairy products, it wasn’t so bad. That is a fairly small circle of items and with a lactose supplement a good portion of dairy products get by just fine. With an allergy, there is no supplement. The only treatment is avoidance.
Standing in front of the Tastykake chocolate cupcakes and the Peanutbutter Tandykakes wishing I could buy some is nothing short of ridiculous. Why am I even thinking about these things? Why am I even sparing one minute of time wondering what vacation meals will be like this summer with the extended family?
The reason is because so much of our life revolves around food. Our entire social life is going out to dinner, going to picnics, having barbeques, and things like that. Even when you go the movies, what do you do? You buy popcorn! Want friends to visit you? Invite them to dinner. Or they invite you. Chatter happens around a delicious meal. A game of cards happens around a bowl of chips. One cannot play Mexican Train dominoes without a bowl of M&Ms and peanuts. Reading a book? Gotta nibble on something. What is church without coffee hour?
It is a matter of communion. Common union. We join together to partake of the Holy Divine Body and Blood of Christ. In that union, we continue on. Eating together continues that fellowship. It is a connection.
At least in the social aspect of food, it is difficult for me to participate. It feels like an imposition. And to a certain extent I am afraid to eat something I did not prepare for fear I’ll eat something that I am allergic to. It is isolating.
Perhaps that is my fast for the next few weeks. I should take advantage of the time.
By your prayers.