Ache

There is an ache behind my right eyebrow.

There is an ache in the center of my chest.

One is a headache.

The other is heartache.

Sunday night’s two hour viewing where 50 people came to pay their last respects to my mother and share copious amounts of hugs with dad, me,  my brother, and my sister was exhausting but good.  Many stories were murmured amongst the guests.  Stories of mom’s joie de vivre which touched many, how she was 2nd mom to the neighborhood teenagers, how she taught macrame to some of us girls to get us away from the boys, and on and on.  People told me about telephone conversations with mom during the last year or so where it felt like they had a spiritual renewal after conversing with her – her trust in Jesus was so strong.  There was laughter.  There were tears.  There were many good-byes and even a few hellos.

Today was the funeral Mass.  Prior to the start of Mass, the family met in the funeral home to say our last good-byes.  Since the funeral home is next door to the parish, we processed out following the casket into the church while the church bells tolled.  Mom would have loved it!

Fr. Murphy, the priest of St. Dorothy’s Parish, gave a wonderful message about mom and her deep faith.  It was a blessing.  At the end of the service during the last hymn, the tears finally came and came and came.  My sobbing echoed through out the silent building.  Leaning heavily on the hubster, with my cousin behind me ‘just in case’, I walked out.

My heart aches, literally.  There is an ache that goes right through me.  Tonight I will sleep.  Tomorrow is a new day.  Healing has begun.  Like with any injury, it hurts when it starts to heal.  But eventually the pain passes with time.  I know this will be the case.  But for now – everything aches.

But I will remember my mom’s words…

My Jesus, I trust in Thee.

 

 

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. George Patsourakos
    Nov 20, 2009 @ 01:45:34

    Your mother was a true Christian. May her memory be eternal.

  2. Suzanna
    Nov 16, 2009 @ 22:02:53

    Eternal Memory!

    What a faith your Mom had.

    “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

  3. Margaret
    Nov 16, 2009 @ 15:25:20

    Prayers for you and your mom.

  4. Matt
    Nov 16, 2009 @ 06:06:11

    Memory Eternal!

  5. jamesthethickheaded
    Nov 13, 2009 @ 03:00:35

    May you be comforted indeed! Memory eternal, memory eternal, memory… ever gratefully eternal.

  6. Laura
    Nov 11, 2009 @ 22:52:52

    I’m late on saying this b/c I’m just catching up on things now…God bless you.

  7. Mrs. Mutton
    Nov 11, 2009 @ 14:34:41

    Sending love and hugs. You and your family — and your mother’s soul — remain in my prayers.

  8. sevpr
    Nov 11, 2009 @ 06:55:58

    Beautiful words. You were blessed to have a Mom who could say such things.

  9. jcurmudge
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 23:29:38

    We, of course, know your feelings, and your heartache as we approach another Thanksgiving four years after Betty’s passing. I did not have a “viewing”, but richly prize all the love her extended family expressed in many ways. May God continue to enrich you in your memories.

  10. Elizabeth
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 21:03:00

    I know. It is so very very hard.
    But it will eventually get easier to live with.
    Sending hugs and prayers your way.

  11. John Taylor
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 17:01:49

    As you have stated, time does work to help in the healing process when we have lost another one from this earth. Keep the faith.

  12. Elizabeth
    Nov 10, 2009 @ 14:52:56

    Memory Eternal.

    It sounds like you had a very precious mother.

    May you who mourn be comforted…Amen.

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